Happy first day of August!
Or as I like to put it…
Happy last month of summer!
Remember when you were a child and summer was the greatest time of year? You had no responsibilities and could eat all the Freezer Pops your little heart desired. Well now, as an adult, I have a love/hate relationship with this season. I’m always very excited for summer and make lots of plans for things I know I’m not going to do. Although at the same time, I start counting down the days until my favorite time of year. Fall! Currently there are 52 days left.
Now if you will allow me, I will explain my love/hate relationship with Summer.
1. Hate: The Heat
I live and grew up in the South. If you don’t know what that means, allow me to explain. There was one day in the middle of July where the temperature was 97 degrees and the humidity was at 97%. That is so hot that air conditioners give up all hope and die. That is so hot swimming pools turn into flesh melting cesspools. You get the picture. This heat only gets worse as the summer goes on and by August it is unbearable. You start melting the second you step outdoors. You get sunburned in places you didn’t know could get sunburned. This southern humidity and my pale, ghostly, milky, Irish/Scottish skin do not mesh. There is a reason God left a permanent cloud to hover over the whole of the British Isles. But by far the worst part of the heat is that I’m forced to wear shorts, which means I have to shave my legs every other day. #Darkhairedgirlproblems
2. Love: Flip Flops
Ok, I’ll admit it, I hate wearing shoes. If I could walk around barefoot all the time, I would. Summer is the only time of year that it is acceptable to be seen without shoes. It is also flip flop weather. Flip flops are shoes for lazy people. I am one of those people. I will buy a new pair every year around May and by September they are worn, broken, and usually have a hole in them. My love of flips flops comes with a price, they are probably destroying my feet and I’m forced to spend an insane amount on pedicures so my toes don’t remind people of Jabba the Hut.
3. Hate: Public Pools
As you grow up, you begin to think about things that never would have occurred to you as a child. One of those things is the filthiness of public pools. In my innocent youth, it never truly hit me that at least once a week the pool closed due to an unfortunate bathroom accident. Mind you they only close to clean up accidents they can see. Who knows what other bacteria and germs are lurking below. That’s why they are forced to use so much chlorine and don’t even get me started on water parks. Plus with the kids out of school, pools are packed everyday and many times even the littlest of kids are without proper supervision. Thus, my dislike for public pools. I think my local pool needs to have a separate quiet pool for introverts and germaphobes like me that just want to lounge on a pool float and read a book. Note to self make enough money to build you a pool in the backyard.
4. Love: The Beach
There is nothing I love more that standing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean allowing waves to punch me in the face. I live for it. There are some people who like to lay out on the beach, but because of my inability to tan this is not an option. Therefore, you will usually find me in an oversized t-shirt, that makes it look like I have no pants, stuffing my face on the boardwalk or trying out my waterbending skills while simultaneously trying not to swallow any salt water. This is summer only behavior and any other time of year would be considered weird.
5. Hate: Bugs!
Do I really need to explain this one? Bugs are gross and the summer comes with all sorts of bugs. It comes with flies and ants that for some reason believe your house is accepting applications for new tenants. It comes with bumblebees that sting you and then immediately die. Although if you have the right attitude you can pretend you have poison in your blood. Not that I have ever done that or anything. Summer also brings out the mosquito, the Lena Dunham of bugs. No one really likes them, but they are still here and continue to force themselves upon you. Summer does, however, come with fireflies and I guess their cool.
6. Love: The Summer Holidays
I’m a sucker for any holiday and summer comes with some great ones. Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day all fall within the confines of summer. These are patriotic holidays and demand that we wear as much red, white, and blue as possible, have a backyard grill out or BBQ, and blare Country or Rock music. These holidays also come with a special treat, lighting things on fire that blow up into pretty colors! I have a scar on the top of my foot from where I dropped a sparkler on my beautiful pedicured feet (see #2) when I was 16, but that’s summer in America!
7. Hate: Summer TV
TV is bad in the summer. I’m sorry, but it is. All our favorite shows have stopped airing new episodes and won’t start again until September. On top of that by mid-June, unless it is an Olympic year, there are no good sports on. And don’t say baseball, we all know baseball is beyond boring until the fall. Instead we are left to spend our nights watching silly game shows and shows where has-beens try and fail to restart their careers. Our one saving grace this year is that HBO held off Game of Thrones until July, but that is only on Sunday and there are 6 other days in the week.
8. Love: Summer Blockbusters
Can we all collectively agree that this summer has been great for the movies? Summer movies are supposed to be a big budget, action packed, and over the top thrill and after several summers of real duds, Hollywood is once again providing us with good material. I have seen Wonder Woman, Spider-man: Homecoming, War for the Planet of the Apes, and Dunkirk and they were all fantastic.