6 Princes We Can Still Marry!

Prince Harry is off the market. Now what’s a girl who has dreams of being a princess supposed to do? Well, don’t you worry your little head, I’ve got you covered. I have done my research and have found 6 worthy bachelor princes to fulfill all of our hopes and dreams.


  1. Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este

His Imperial and Royal Highness Prince Joachim Karl-Maria Nikolaus Isabelle Marcus d’Aviano of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, Prince of Modena, (Geez, that’s a f@#king mouthful) is currently 9th in line to the Belgian throne. He is the nephew of the current king of Belgium. Now while you don’t get to be Queen, you will get to live in Europe, in a palace (Maybe, I’m not sure. I do know that the house will be a hell of lot fancier than the one I currently live in.) , and you get a title. Prince Joachim is also in the navy, which means he knows how to steer a ship, a large large ship. This is a very useful skill.     

  1. Prince Philippos of Greece

Prince Philippos of Greece and Denmark is 31 and Princess Diana’s godson. I know what you’re thinking, “Greece doesn’t have a monarchy dumbass.” First of all, rude. Second, they used too and that family still likes to pretend they are royalty. Which means you get a fake title and real cash. Prince Philippos was born in London, he is a graduate of Georgetown University and from what I can tell spends his time traveling and showing up to royal events. Not too shabby.


  1. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece

Prince Constantine is only 19 making him the youngest person on this list. But my friends 19 is perfectly legal. Another one of those pretend Princes, Prince Constantine has a slight resemblance to his godfather Prince William. From the looks of his instagram it seems that he lives a pretty chill life of travel and leisure. Damn, I wish I lived a chill life of travel and leisure.


  1. Prince Mateen of Brunei

We are leaving Europe because most of them are either fake princes, married, or twelve. Prince Mateen is 5th in line to the throne of the tiny island of Brunei in Southeast Asia. According to his instagram, the Prince plays polo and flies helicopters. According to wikipedia, “Prince Mateen is very interested in pursuing diving and found it very easy to adapt to the water.” His full title is Pengiran Muda ‘Abdul Mateen ibni Kebawah Duli Yang Maha Mulia Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu’izzaddin Waddaulah. I have no idea what any of that means.  


  1. Sheikh Hamdan a.k.a Fazza

His Highness Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed Al Maktoum, Crown Prince of Dubai is the son of the Ruler of Dubai. Apparently there are several Royal Families and Princes running around the United Arab Emirates and I’m not really sure how it all works. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed Al Maktoum goes by the name Fazza because that’s the name he publishes his poetry under. Poetry? Guys, stop it, that’s too good to be true. Fazza has nearly 6 million instagram followers which is the most among the princes by far. He is an avid horse rider and a semi-professional skydiver. Wikipedia says he enjoys camels, as in the animal and well I have always wanted to ride a camel through the desert.       

  1. Crown Prince Al Hussein Bin Abdullah II of Jordan

His Royal Highness The Crown Prince of Jordan is the future King and belongs to the second-oldest-ruling dynasty in the world. Jordan is right next to Israel in case you’re wondering. If you’re still unsure, buy a globe. Unlike his princely counterparts, his Instagram is filled with pictures of him meeting foreign dignitaries, fulfilling royal engagements, and speaking at the UN. He like Prince Philippos graduated from Georgetown and I feel as if I missed a golden opportunity. Clearly I chose the wrong Jesuit university (I love you SJU. THWND!). One plus with Prince Hussein is that you get to hang with Queen Rania. If you don’t know who she is, open a new tab and google her. I’ll wait… Welcome back, she’s fabulous isn’t she? Anyways, Prince Hussein is 23 and unmarried, so hooray for single princes.



1 Comment

  1. Kathleen
    December 4, 2017 / 1:37 PM

    Where do you find this stuff?? You’re like a walking encyclopedia

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